When To Forgive and When To Forget...

We all hear time and time again, that we need to learn to "forgive and forget", but there are some things that we just can't forgive, or we can forgive and not forget. When this happens, the best thing you can do is walk away. If you know you can't forgive AND forget, then forget the person.

 Forgiving and forgetting someone about something they did should come from your heart not your head. To be honest, if you use your head on this particular situation, your are most likely going to make the wrong decision. The best tricks are played on the mind not the heart. Now, depending on the situation, your chemistry, and your past, determines whether your heart will answer this question.

For example, one of my closest friends, cheated on her boyfriend. She begged him to forgive her and take her back. So he did, and she spent a very long time trying to prove to him that she would never do it again. Even when the times came that would be the ultimate moment to prove herself right, he would not believe her and just bring up what she did. The only thing she ever got out of trying to prove herself to him, was argument after argument, and bad memories brought back. -- In this situation the best thing to do is walk away. Because no matter how many times he said he forgave her and he trusted her and that he could forget about that, it was never fully forgave, and fully forgotten.

Also when it comes to lying, honesty is a big factor in any relationship. Now, lies can be forgotten and the person can be forgiven for lying. Which is the tricky part and kind of contradicts my advice. HOWEVER, when you have forgiven and forgotten time and time again, there needs to be a stopping point. You know, the three strikes your out. No matter your feelings for this person, and no matter how much they say they will stop, you need to walk away. Someone who is a compulsive liar, or a pathological liar, or even someone who just tells a little white lie every now and then, they can't stop lying. It's part of who they are and no matter how hard they try and change, it is highly unlikely that they will.

I will say that when you have been together for a while and haven't had any cheating, or lying going on, and all of a sudden they slip up with a little lie about something small. It is okay to forgive them and forget it. Or if you have ever been the cheater and you knew you could never do it again. Think about how bad you wanted that forgiveness and for them to forget. If your heart tells you that it's the right thing to do to forgive and forget, do it. Because maybe they really do need it. Maybe they are telling the truth, about changing. Listening to your heart is a main key to that. But you need to make it a point that they better not do it again.

No one can really tell you when you should, it comes from you. Look at the way they are acting. Just because they are crying and saying sorry, doesn't always mean they won't do it again. Listen to what they are saying, and when you feel like they have made a good point about it, you know they mean it. "I love you and I'm sorry" isn't always good enough.

Marriage and Divorce.

   I'm not sure exactly how many of you go to church, or that any of my readers believe in God. But today, when I was at church, what the father was talking about made me think and it made a lot of sense. I don't mean to offend anyone by this at all. But we were talking about marriage and divorce. That one of the main reasons that people will get a divorce, is because they put themselves before God. Way back in the day, before time, when people got married, the way it was made was that God comes first, then man, then woman. Our society now doesn't see it that way.

Mark 10: 2-9
"The Pharisees approached and asked, 'Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?' They were testing him. He said to them in reply, 'What did Moses command you?' They replied, 'Moses permitted him to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her.' But Jesus told them, 'Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, "God made them male, and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and he joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh."

See God came first, then male, then the female. When two people who get married put God first, they are most likely to have a long, strong and healthy marriage. You can't be selfish and put all your stress and negativity first, and put Him last. Then you are only destined for failure. He never says you will have a perfect marriage, because there is no such thing. But putting him first will make it a better one.

The way the Father at my church explained it. When two people get married, and they put God first, they see no shame. They stand there, naked in front of each other and say "WOW! This is me", because they have become one. 50 years down the road, they are still married and still put God first, they still say, "WOW! This is me."

When you go to a restaurant and you see an old couple that looks like they have been married for 50+ years. You see them, and they are sitting on the same side of the table, eating the same hamburger, and all of a sudden you hear one ask, "Can I borrow your teeth". That is a marriage that has God first, that is true love. And that my friends is what marriage is all about.

The Sexiest Thing A Woman Can Wear...

Self Confidence and a smile are absolutely the sexiest thing a woman can wear. Guys love a woman with confidence, and showing that you are always happy makes other women jealous. Make them want your life. Nothing matters when guys want you, and girls hate you! :)

Distance Is Just A Word...

   I'm not sure how many of you think that long distance relationships don't work. What I do know is that there are a lot of you who believe that. I'll admit at one point I did too. Until I figured something out. A long distance relationship is a test. A test of your faithfulness, a test of honesty, a test for trust. Being honest and faithful to that person, while being so far away, with bad temptations. Trusting that you are still going to be happy when you see them.

   My personal opinion, can make or break a relationship. Either it can keep two people interested in each other. Knowing that you only get to see that person for a short amount of time, you make the best of it. Hiding any negativity, just to make each other happy. Or it can break a relationship. Two people who get tired of not being able to see the other everyday. That is more of the people who really don't want a commitment. If that's the case then you shouldn't waste their time in the first place. The moment you figure out that you would rather party and be your own person, you should stop wasting your boy/girl- friends time.

  However, for those of you who don't believe that long distance relationships work, I  want you to think about something. Think about EVERY woman, and EVERY man who is married into military. They chose a long distance relationship. Choosing to be able to not see their spouse for possibly a year or more at a time, only seeing them under special circumstances, and only being able to see them for a VERY short amount of time. Not even knowing if their spouse will ever return. I want you to think about it, and think really hard. These men and women, they had a choice. To live the life they are in or to get out. Guess what, every single one of them believes that a long distance relationship does work. They believe that every time their spouse leaves, they will return. Although not all of them are fortunate enough. They still believe. They believe that when they return, they will stay for longer than a week, or a month, and they savor every moment of every day they have with that person.

   I hope that opens your minds about something you thought you didn't believe in.

   I support our troops, and I believe that they will come back to their families.

   I also want to let every man and woman that has chosen the life you have being married to a soldier, that you all are soldiers as well, and you all are very brave. Brave for marrying a soldier and brave for supporting their decisions in staying a soldier.

Today's moment of Zen...

 
 This is for all of you out there who care way too much about what other people think of you. The decisions that you make are the ones that you make for YOU. Whenever you make a decision, and someone decides to criticize it, think to yourself, "You're opinion wasn't going through my head when i made the decision, and I don't need it now!" You are never going to be able to satisfy everyone, and the only one whose opinion matters is yours. Don't get caught up in trying to impress everyone else. All you get out of that is disappointment. Prove to them that you are happy with the way you are. Show them that if they don't like the decisions that you make, then you don't need them in your life.

   To be honest, that's how you find out who your real friends are. Your real friends support EVERY decision that you make, no matter what they think of it.

Don't cheat yourself... love yourself!

The "Write" Words

   We spend so much time thinking so hard, to find the right words to say to someone, that by the time we find them it's too late. When really the right words were the ones we think are wrong. 

   When put in the situation when you have to tell someone something that comes from the heart. Those words actually come from your heart. It's the first thing that pops into your head when the question is asked. It's not so much the words that we need to find when saying it, because we already know the answer. It's finding the courage to speak from your heart. Most of us can think of exactly what to say, but when we open our mouths, it's like we've become mute. My personal suggestion, write it down. Anything you want to say you can write down. It's a lot easier than looking that person in eyes and accidentally saying the wrong thing, or saying it in a fashion that they take the wrong way. When you write how you feel down, you have the ability to change anything you want. To make it say exactly how you want to say it. You can write it, then delete it. And when you think it's exactly the way you want it remember it or give it to the person you wrote it for. 

   The right words are usually the words you left unsaid.

What You Can Do While She's Pregnant

  This post is for a personal, good friend of mine. However, I know there are quite a few gentlemen out there who don't exactly know how to handle this situation. So here are a few tips.

  First of all, let me warn you that because she is pregnant, her hormones are all over the place. One minute she can be the happiest person in the world, and the next, she will probably want to choke you for no apparent reason. So please don't take anything she says to heart. It's not like when a person is drunk and "the truth comes out". She is perfectly sane and she knows what she is saying. She is scared, especially if this is her first child. The best thing for you to do, is change the subject. Make her talk about something that makes her happy. The worst thing you could do is get mad at her for being mad at you. All that does is cause an argument, because she doesn't think she is being mean. The yelling and stress of an argument is very bad for her and the baby. Too much stress can lead to a premature birth.

  Always make sure she is comfortable. When you get uncomfortable, you tend to get a little grouchy right? Well she is uncomfortable and pregnant. Just make sure she has a pillow behind her, her back will hurt after standing up all day with what seems like a hundred pound basketball connected to her torso. Tell her to sit down, prop her up with some pillows, cook her dinner, (it won't hurt for the man to be in the kitchen for once), and give her a good foot rub after dinner.

Another this is don't let her gain too much weight while she is prego. She will blame the baby for the rest of it's life, she will blame you for giving in to her wanting McDonald's every time, and she will spend a very long time unhappy because she has gained weight. So ask her to go for a walk with you every other day/night. When you go grocery shopping make sure you get fruits, and low calorie snacks for her to munch on.
http://www.babycenter.com/healthy-pregnancy-grocery-list << here's a link to find some of the things pregnant women should eat. Now, I'm not saying she cant have anything sweet, or anything fat, she can. She just can't have too much of it, and the WORST thing you can do while she is eating healthy is to be eating junk food all the time in front of her.

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU MEN: Cook a healthy dinner that looks good at least 5/6 nights out of the week, don't tell her it's healthy, that's an insult. But eat it with her. That way you are both working on a healthy diet and she is not thinking you are only making her eat it so she doesn't get fat. Afterwards, give her a good foot rub, or a neck rub. Do something that makes her feel comfortable.

By following my advice about this, she will see how much you are trying to help. She can never say that you didn't do anything while she was prego, and she will feel less stressed knowing that you don't plan on leaving. Proving that you are willing to help her in any way possible, she can never call you a dead beat dad! That makes you a real MAN!

Why Are Relationships So Difficult?

   Well a relationship is when two people come together as one. A lot of people, especially in the beginning, two people who are supposed to be as one, still think of themselves as an individual. This happens most often with younger couples. They think, "oh hey, I'm on my own, I don't have to ask for permission, I can do what I want." Well sorry to bust your bubble, but it's not so much of having to ask for permission, but you do have to mention where you are going. That way your S.O. knows where you are in case something happens. Just like when you lived at home with your parents. It's also a good idea, as far as them trusting you they know that you are telling the truth about where you are going, but they also know that they can trust you enough to know nothing is going to happen. 

   Another thing is, when it comes to visiting your family. In some relationships, the couples find themselves visiting one family more than the other. Well compromising is always a good thing when it comes to this, along with other things. Pick one day out of each week that you go see your family and pick one day that you go see their family. It's only fair right... You can't do more for yourself than you do for the other, and you cant let the other do more for their self than they do for you. It has to be EQUAL. 

   Also, don't ever tell your S.O. that they can not do something. They picked you to be their significant other because you are their best friend. If they have a dream, or a goal, help them reach it. Don't ever tell them that they can't do something. If they want to go to school, let them. Not only will it better them, but it will better your relationship in the long run. If they want to lose weight, help them. Because the more you eat junk food in front of them, the harder it is for them to quit eating it. Not only will helping them lose weight better their life and their body, but by you helping, you are bettering yours too. If they want to be a singer, and they suck at singing, help them to take voice lessons. Help your best friend with what ever it is because in some way it will benefit you. Also they can never say that you don't ever help them with anything. 

My point is, compromise, and support are things that make a relationship work. There are other things but we will come to those on a later date, or else I wouldn't have anything to write about! 

"Lust" is blind. Not love.

  Okay, I have answered questions honestly for all you ladies and gentlemen who actually take the time to read this. Now I have a question for all of you.

Do you really think that the person you are talking to will be faithful if they 

cheated on someone for you? 

Lets be real. They can't be faithful to the person they are with, what makes you think they are going to be faithful to you? Is it because they sit there and tell you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Or you think they are just the sweetest person in the world? 

Well since I have not lied to all of you yet, here's some more truth. They may be the best sex of your life, or they may be the best looking person you have ever met. Well, they always say, if it seems too good to be true, it most likely isn't real. They will most likely do it again. They are thinking to themselves. "Hmm, I got away with it this time, I know I can get away with it again. 

Please, don't be so stupid as to be the third wheel. Find somebody who has treated his previous girls/boys with respect. Those are the ones you want. Don't let lust be the reason you give up on love. 

But, I will say if you are the one who is with someone who left their partner to be with you, I will give you some tips as to keep a look out, so you're not the next victim. 

-If you see that they are always texting someone, yet they have no texts in their phone, or the ones they have are old. Then there is something fishy going on. I'm not saying that they are, because they could be planning something special they don't want you to know about. But be on the lookout. 

-If you have the password to everything but their phone, and they refuse to give it to you, be just a tiny bit worried. 

-Staying late after work more than one or two nights out of the week is another tip. Nobody really has late meetings everyday after work, and faithful people like to come home and see their family after a long hard day at work. 

Those are some tips. Just remember, if they have done it once, chances are they will do it again. Not always. But most of the time they will. 

I hope you guys have a wonderful day. 

If you have questions feel free to email them to relations.tina@gmail.com

Online Dating...

   Online Dating is something that a lot of people frown upon. My question is how is it any different than the first time you meet someone at the bar, school, or even church. Anyone can change who they are the first time you meet them. It's only when you actually get to know the person and hang out, that you figure out who they really are. Now, I'm not saying that you should trust everyone that you meet online, nor that everyone on there is there for the same thing you are. You just have to know what to do in these situations.

1.) If you are there for really dating, then don't respond to "hey beautiful!" or "wanna hookup?" ... no those people are only there for one thing.

2.) Those of you who are only looking for a one night stand or a friends with benefits type thing. Go to the bar or the club. You would probably have better luck picking up someone who's drunk.

3.) Talk to the person for a few days before giving out your number. Remember that first day they can tell you anything they want. After a few days you might be able to catch them in a lie.

4.) Make sure you see multiple pictures of the person that are not on the website/app.

5.) When and if you decide to meet this person, meet in the most public place you can think of, AND STAY THERE. You want a lot of people around just in case they go psycho crazy. Remember, don't get drunk, and don't let them bring your drinks. either you go get them or your waitor/waitress bring them if you are at a restaurant.

   A lot of people really do find their true love, or even their best friend. Like I said you wouldn't change any of this if you met someone anywhere else. So don't judge someone who is on an online dating website. They don't choose your dates, don't choose theirs.

Honesty > Faithfulness

   Someone here recently, inspired me to write this piece. We were talking about how a person is more forgiving about unfaithfulness, when they are told the truth about it. "The whole truth" as he said. He asked me what I thought and this is what I said...

   "Honesty is the key to every relationship (as I have stated before). Without honesty you are being unfaithful. In my opinion, faithfulness is not just being monogamous, but it's also being loyal and trustworthy, and without honesty, all of that means nothing." 

   I'm sure that not one person in this world likes to be lied to. Although many people in this world lie. Lying, is not only deceitful, but it is also heartbreaking, and the main reason that relationships in this modern day, don't survive. I'm not saying that everyone has to be a saint, but when two people are together, they become one whole. In everything they do, they must think about how the other feels, and what they would think about it. If you are in a relationship, you are no longer your independent individual. So think to yourself "If I tell them something other than what really happened... what are the consequences?" Now, either the person you are lying to will basically hate you, and you just ruined everything you have built up together. (Notice I said together, and not individually) Or, they will believe you because they know you would NEVER lie to them, and they love you. If this is the case, you are going to feel very guilty about what it is you have done, and what you told that person. Somewhere in the back of your head you will be thinking about it all the time. Whether it be because you feel bad, or because you are trying very carefully not to let it slip. 

   Let me tell you, when it does slip, that person will be HEARTBROKEN because you were not honest from the beginning. The matter will be worse, than the actual situation, because not only did you do whatever it is you lied about, but you also lied to them. They will be more upset that you lied in words, and that everyday that passed by you looked them in their eyes, and never said anything. You let them believe your lie. It's embarrassing.  

All in all, honesty is key. Without it you have nothing. 

What is your opinion on this subject. Please, I would love to get some feedback. :) Thank you.

Appreciated?

A girl feels most appreciated when the man shows her that even though she works for what she wants, he can still take care of her and give her everything she asks for and not hesitate. I'm not just talking about material things. But even true love and opening doors...the things that show us there is still chivalry.

Dudes feel most appreciated when we show them we need them. Whether it be yard work, house work, or bed work. Show him that you still need him and he'll stick around!

The Hardest Part...

   I'm sure many of you have been in love, or are in love, and nothing went right. There were all the arguments, and the silent treatments, and the "I hate you"'s...or you just became two separate people. Well from experience, I know what it's like to lose someone that you love. To lose the one thing that you saw everyday, the one person you counted on to ALWAYS be there. And it's not easy, not at all. But you have to be strong. I know, everyone is telling you the same thing. But I'm sure not one of those people are going to tell you how to do it. I will try...

   First thing first, I want you to take all the pictures of you and that person and pick out ONE. Only one. That one, you can keep, BUT I want you to put it in a box or a drawer or somewhere you won't see it all the time. The rest of them, I want you to go outside, with a lighter and burn them. You can never get rid all your memories of someone or something special in your life. Which is why I said to keep one. This includes anything that has this persons name, or something they gave you, any journals....burn it all. No matter what you need that one picture to remind you of the good times you had with that person, but more importantly to remind you of the kind of person you don't need to be with. Remind yourself when it does just pop up out of nowhere, of the things that this person put you through, and remind yourself that you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who is going to treat you like a Queen/King. 

   Second, I want you to pick a song that makes you mad at that person. Turn it on and put it on repeat. You  do not need to feel sorry for yourself. 

   Last, You need to delete them from facebook, myspace, my yearbook, any connection you have with that person needs to get deleted. And don't look back

The reason I made this post, is because I always talk about what people want in another person, but never what to do when things go wrong. I know someone out there needs some advice. I did, and there was no one there to help me, other than saying "you don't need him" or "just get over it already". 

The song that I listen to is Bittersweet Memories by Bullet for my Valentine. It is a rock song but a lot of times rock is the music that gives you the attitude you need. This song helped me because of the lyrics. They say EXACTLY what I should have done a long time ago. I'm telling you so that you don't waste anymore time than you need. 

"Rip my pictures from the wall, 

Tear them down and burn them all, 

Light the fire and walk away,

(There's nothing left to say)

Take the ashes from the floor,

Bury them to just make sure,

That nothing more is left of me,

Just Bittersweet Memories."

Standards...

   Have you ever looked at a couple and said, "That guy/girl is way to pretty for their partner!"? Well 9 times out of 10 they are the happy couple. The reason being, when you find someone that has a WONDERFUL personality, and you love to be around them, but yet they are not so attractive, that personality makes them attractive to you. The "not-so-attractive" people are the ones who are faithful. They are the ones who know that true love only comes once, and they are not going to take it for granted.

   Guys sit here and say, all day long, that they wish they could find a good girl, and girls say they wish they could find a guy that doesn't just want sex. To be honest, you have your standards way too high. Guys who say this are the guys that look for the girls that look like superstars. Well, not all of them, but most of those girls know they could have any guy they want, so they find the smallest thing to throw you under the bus. They are also probably talking to 15 other guys, and those guys are probably telling her that she is beautiful, and sweet, and they can treat her right. Those girls are naive. Girls what a guy who looks AND act like they do in movies. Well ladies, truth be told, those guys are only in the movies. Girls are way too picky. They guys that go to the gym 3 times a day, (yes, I said "a day") are the ones that know they look good. They are the ones who just want to have a good time, because they know that every girl wants them.

   Like I said before, you are not truly happy until you marry your best friend. Your "soulmate". Don't look for your the person you wanna spend your life with. Look for the person you can talk to about anything and you know that they care and you know they are listening. That is the person who will truly make you happy. You can't expect to meet someone new and you like them for a week and you think you should get married. Sorry to break some hearts, but it doesn't work that way. You really have to be friends first. Find someone who is not a 10, find someone who has imperfections, and they have a sense of humor, they like nerdy video games, they don't walk around with their shirts off to impress every girl in the state. Find a girl who wears glasses, or is wearing her pajamas at Wal-Mart or the movie theater. Or even who has a little meat on their bones. Things happen for a reason, and if you haven't found your Mr./Mrs. right, then you are obviously looking in the wrong direction.

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Find someone to be your best friend, don't make any moves, but really get to know that person almost better than you know yourself. Lower your standards a little, it won't kill you.

I promise that the right person is out there for you, you just have to learn how to give people a chance.

You Always Ask Why..

Nice Guys...this parts for you. I see a lot of you guys asking why you can't find a good girl...well I figured out the answer. A girl wants a guy who will respect her. Put up with her and love her. But she also wants to feel protected. Yes every girl wants a nice guy but she also wants a badass somewhere inside him. When girls go for mean guys, it's because when another person says or does something wrong to her, he will stand up for her no matter what. If you see a guy trying to hit on your girl, you need to say something. If they pop off to your girl and you can see that it upsets her...say something.
You know how you guys say you want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed well we want a gentleman all around til someone hurts our pride. Plain and simple. So if you can't stand up for what you love, hell if you can't stand up for yourself. If you let people push you around and you just sit there and take it... when a girl sees that it's a red flag saying "he can't stand up for himself how is he gonna stand up for me?"
So now you know.
Send all questions to relations.tina@gmail.com or leave a comment.
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Thank you

Don't Be A Creeper...

Okay ladies and gentlemen, lesson number one, when you meet someone you should try to be their friend first. Don't jump right into thinking you're in a relationship. Get to know the person first. You should know why they are single in the first place. And if they think you are pushing the limit then don't keep pushing. That is honestly the last thing you want, because then you will only get pushed away.
   Lesson number two. You should NEVER tell the person you just met, who has told you that they don't want anything serious, that you are jealous of them hanging around and talking to someone else. (Talking as in carrying a conversation) jealousy is something nobody likes. Especially when you hardly know either one of them. Don't push the word date. Call it hanging out, or chillin. Date is a word that scares people. Along with commitment, and labels. Take things slow with this person. It's the best thing you can do and besides what's the rush? You have a lifetime to know your feelings and to love someone special. You just gotta get to know if they are the special one.
   Lesson number three. If that person ends up turning you down, don't change your attitude towards them, that will only make you lose them for good and we don't want that now do we?

Send all questions to relations.tina@gmail.com or just leave it in a comment.

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Thank you and good night:)

Who Is Your Soulmate?

   Obviously there is such thing as love at first sight, but for those of us who are not that lucky, we have to remember that we need to "keep it real". Everyone has that one person in their life that has your back for everything, no question about it, they don't even have to know what they have your back about, they just have it. It's the one person you know that you could tell any and everything to. The one person that you know would never judge you no matter what. It's your best friend.
   Now, someone great once said, "You are truly happy when you marry your best friend." It's very true. How can you put your embarrassing moments, your secrets, your "off-the-wall" jokes, and your heart and soul into the hands of someone you just met? Well, you could always try it that way. But once again you are never TRULY happy until your with your Soulmate, your best friend. If you have someone worthy enough to play that part in your life, don't you think they deserve your love? And everything that goes along with it? I do.
   So please, ladies and gentlemen. Show your best friend that y'all are meant to be together. Just don't be too pushy about it, it could possibly take the turn forbade worst. But highly unlikely...

The "L" Word

   Love is a word that everybody just throws around, when really they just have very strong feelings for that person. Love is not a game and we shouldn't take it for granted. How do you know when your in love? Well honestly, I can't tell you. It's a feeling you get when you think about that special someone, it's the way you smile everytime you look at them or hear their voice. Love is feeling your heart beat faster than a NASCAR race when they text or call you. Honestly love is having that feeling that you know you can't live without that person and you know you're going to grow old and wrinkly together.

   Just because someone makes you feel happy a lot, or they do nice things for you, doesn't quite mean you are in love. It takes quite a while to know you in REAL love. You don't fall in love within a few days or weeks. When you say "I love you" after a short period of time, I feel like you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Although that's why I'm here, to prevent that as much as possible for you. You have to know this person pretty much better than you know yourself. You have to be sure that you love EVERYTHING about that person even the stuff that gets in your last nerve, just because it's a part of who they are.

So...MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: The next person you talk to that makes you more than happy, you can't tell them you love them for at least a month.

   Don't get me wrong I believe in love at first sight too, but even then you still have to get to know each other. Right?

Needing Space

   Now I know how much fun it is to see your partner everyday! In fact it's so fun, it drives you insane right? It makes you feel like you need some space? Well the honest truth is, you really do need your space. Seeing each other all the time, things tend to get boring, or like I said before, routine.
   Guys, you need to get with some more guys. I know that you are starting to get a little woozy from smelling her nail polish, and watching chick flicks. Girls, you need a girls night out, with some martinis. I know you need to get away from the gas passing, and ball scratching.
   It is healthy to get away from each other after spending so much time together. You need something new to take your mind off of them. Your brain is going ninety to nothing about your S.O. all day everyday. It's time for something different.

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Stay the night with a friend or family member. Go have your guys/girls night out and have a blast. But you can not talk or text the other one. Until you make it home later that night or the next day. I promise when you see each other the next day you will have stuff to talk about, and you will enjoy spending the time with each other.

Make it habit. One night a week. Go out, have fun, visit your family. It's worth it!

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Keep It Interesting!

   Being in a relationship, most of the time when you have been together for a while, things seem to become routine. The two of you get bored, and sometimes it ends, or you even just keep it routine. In order to keep it interesting, you need to be spontaneous. Go do something you never would see yourself doing on a daily basis, or even a monthly basis.

   SOME IDEAS: Bungee jumping, Sky diving, Horseback riding, Amusement parks, Road trips, or even Traveling. Write them a poem, or write a song, learn how to play guitar and sing it to them!

   MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Spend some quality time just the two of you, leave the kids with the babysitter or the grandparents ( I recommend the grandparents, they love to see their grand kids, and it's a lot cheaper). Take a trip, or go to a concert... something to get you two out of routine, and back on track as a couple. 

   Always remember, your relationship doesn't have to be boring. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Your answer: well, it should be to make it fun, but it's your choice! 

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Remember: Just Because...

1. Just because it's Monday, doesn't mean you can't buy her flowers (not roses).
2. Just because it's Tuesday, doesn't mean you can't cook dinner for her.
3. Just because it's Wednesday, doesn't mean you can't buy her chocolate.
4. Just because it's Thursday, doesn't mean you can't take her to a movie.
5. Just because it's Friday, doesn't mean you can't play a game with her.
6. Just because it's Saturday, doesn't mean you can't sing her a love song.
7. Ladies, just because it's Sunday, doesn't mean you can't love him.

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Being Comfortable with Yourself

   An important part of a healthy relationship is to be comfortable with who you are as an individual. Girls, you have to love who you are before you can love someone else. 9 out of 10 guys like a thicker woman. So don't be ashamed to have meat on your bones, and wear a fitted shirt or some jeans that compliment your butt. You have to be confident in yourself. Guys like that. They like knowing that you are not afraid to wear anything you want, they like knowing that you are not gonna ask "Does this make me look fat?". They like knowing you are comfortable, walking out of the house in your pajamas, with no make-up on, your hair in a mess, and that you don't care what anyone thinks. To them, that's pretty hot! But at the same time, a guy wants a girl to take care of themselves. They want you to be healthy, so also don't be afraid to hit the gym. Or drink a bottle of water. Don't be scared to go for a jog. In fact, make him go with you. He would love to know that you are trying to stay healthy for him. More for you but for him as well.

   Guys, same goes for you. Be confident with yourself too. Don't send a picture to a girl and ask her if she likes it. You should know she's going to love it because it's a picture of you! A girl wants a guy who is confident in him, because then she knows that you are not just settling for her because you don't think you are good enough for someone "better". When you love yourself she knows that you are confident it her. Girls think Confidence is the sexiest thing a guy can wear.

   Now when I say to be confident, I do NOT mean to be conceited. Girls want a guy who is confident, not a guy who is so conceited that he thinks he can have any girl he wants. And girls, guys don't want a girl who loves their self more than anything else. He wants to know that somewhere in that big loving heart there is enough love for him to stay around.

  Anyways, my point is... you have to be comfortable with your self before you can be comfortable with someone else.

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The Meaning of Love

   So I am sure that everyone knows a version of the song "More than words". Well today's blog is about exactly that. Learning how to express your love with more than just the "I love you"'s. 


   Do something so out of the ordinary, if you are never the one to cook dinner, attempt to cook dinner for the two of you, throw some candles in to set the mood. Do something that the other person loves that you hate doing. Get your brownie points. Take him/her on a romantic date doing something you have never done before. 


  Your main goal should be to, for that moment of the day, take their mind off of whatever it was that has been keeping them upset, or not fully happy. Remind your S.O. that you love them without saying it. Someone can say something a billion times, the exact same way every time, but that doesn't mean you are going to believe them right? No, most of us are all "I have to see it to believe it" kind of people. So let them see it so they can believe it. 

   Even if you don't go do anything. Have a scavenger hunt at home with note cards... get 10 note cards... on one side write a clue to where the next one is, and on the other side write the prize they win for finding that card. If fun, funny, and rewarding. Play funny little games with each other to keep the blood pumping in your relationship. Make them wanna come home and be excited, because they know they are going to have fun. 

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: You can't SAY, WRITE, EMAIL, OR TEXT "I love you" you have to show it to them. Find something that you know will make them smile, and do it. Do it proud!


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Arguments

   Arguments are what helps keep a relationship healthy and strong. Because even though you are arguing, you are talking to one another. When you argue, you tell how you actually feel, you are not hiding any feelings that you don't want the other one to know. Knowing that you can yell at each other, throw things, call each other names, and let off all your steam, and then still going to bed, giving the other a kiss, and saying good night, that's real love. That is a strong relationship. You know that no matter what, you can say the meanest thing in the world, and your S.O. will forgive you, and still love you. 

   Guys, sometimes a girl is scared to argue with you, because she doesn't want you to leave. So make sure that you always reassure her that you are never going anywhere, that you are hers, and you just want to know what she is really thinking. 

   Girls, sometimes he won't argue with you and he will just make a smart-allic remark, because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So your job is to make sure that no matter what he says you keep your head up and stay strong. If he says something that really does hurt your feelings, remember, it's only out of anger and he doesn't really mean it. Let him know that you can take anything that he throws your way.

   I know that everyone of you is saying "I hate arguing." and "That is what I try to avoid". But the truth is, is that you NEED to argue, you need to let your anger out, especially if it's about your S.O. That's how they know that you are not going anywhere. That is how they know that you are telling them the truth, that you are not hiding anything and that you are worth keeping around. Because even though you are screaming and yelling at each other, you are communicating with one another. 

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Communication: From That Everything Else Follows...

Communication is at the top of the list of reasons why couples break up. A lot of couples still have their guards up as individuals. When you have a relationship with someone, that one person should ALWAYS be the one who can tear that guard down with no problems. You have to be able to talk to the person you are with, so that you don't become complete strangers to one another. You lose sight of what's going on in the other ones world, and you start to ask yourself question. And doubtful questions are never a good thing. Learn to speak to one another, and if you are the type who, like myself, usually can't find the words to say, write what your are thinking down. Write your S.O. a letter and the both of you can share your thoughts.

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Pick one day out of the week that you and your significant other sit down and talk. Whether it be about work, school, family, friends, or even what you are planning to cook for dinner the next day. At least you are talking. Make it a habit to sit and talk, you can even make a date out of it. Go out to eat, or have a picnic, or sit on the tailgate and look at the stars. Find something to do to better your relationship, find someway to let each other know what is going on in your life, and find out what is going on in theirs.




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What Ladies Want from Guys: The Gentlemen Guidelines

   Gentlemen, it's your turn! First of all, just because you look good, or you think you do, doesn't mean you get to go around "hooking-up" with girl after girl. Ladies don't want a man who thinks he can have every girl in the world. That is how you end up with psycho-ex-girlfriends. They don't want to know that you have hooked up with so many girls. That's just UN-attractive.
   A lady wants a guy who knows what self control is. She wants a guy who doesn't make a pass at her. She wants a man who doesn't just tell her she is beautiful to get in her pants, she wants you to mean it. So buy her some flowers. Take her on a real date. Show her that you appreciate her. Even if it's the first date. I know how much you guys appreciate your electronics, and your money. Treat her like she is your life savings and you don't want it to go away. Have an intelligent conversation with her. An even better way to show her that you really like her and that she is not just a piece of ass is to watch a movie at home with her, cuddle up, but don't touch her inappropriately, and don't kiss her. That shows her that you enjoy her company. You could even take her to a really public pace, not the mall because that is too high school cliche. Take her to dinner and let her order off the right side of the menu (where the expensive food is). Pick her up from her place, walk up to the door with some flowers or her favorite candy, or something that will make her feel special. Ring the doorbell, and if she is not done getting ready than that means she is trying to make you feel special, so you should do the same for her. Open every door that you go through and let her walk through first. It will surprise her, because she thinks that chivalry is dead. Let her order first, then she will know you are into her. When you leave, if you have nothing else planned then take her home and walk her to the door. Just like in the movies. I know you all have seen Hitch. Most of the stuff he says really works on girls.
   All I'm saying guys, is don't expect to take a girl to McDonald's, buy her a happy meal and expect her to stick around. I'm not saying that you have to take her to the most expensive restaurant. But take her somewhere that makes her feel good. You can even take her horseback riding if you're into that, or even have a picnic. Girls like quality time.
  Another thing girls want is someone honest. Like I've said before it's all about honesty. Women want to feel secure with their man, because they want him to stick around.

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What Guys Look for in Girls:The Whole Truth!

   Okay Ladies!! If you are single and looking, and it seems like you just cannot find a decent guy or even a guy at all. Maybe you should consider presenting yourself in a different way. I have been asking about 100 guys different questions about what they think. Believe it or not but even the most perverted guys know what they want in a girl they want to keep around. Now ladies, you may think that every guy wants a barbie doll, but truth be told guys would much rather have a woman with brains. Actually 99% of the guys I asked would rather have a girl with brains. So ladies watch the news or read a few books about something other than romance. You could even learn how to play a few strategic video games and really earn your brownie points with him.
   Also guys don't like slutty girls. Yes they like to see cleavage but they don't like to see too much. When I asked, every guy told me that they would much rather have a girl dress respectable. Now that doesn't mean that you can't dress cute and up-to-date with fashion. Trust me, there is a big difference. When you dress fashion friendly, it is okay to wear your shorts, short skirts, your heels, and all that good stuff. Just don't over do it with really short shorts and belts as a skirt. Don't show too much boob, and don't let your butt hang out of your shorts/skirts.
   So ladies just know, your dream guy wants you to be confident with who you are, dress appropriately, have a sense of humor and a great personality, and remember books over looks.



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Honesty and Trust: The Heart of Every Relationship.

Relationships are not always easy. They tend to be that roller coaster that everyone wants to ride, then throws up when it's over. Yet we still want to ride it again and again. First things first, The heart and soul of every relationship is Honesty and Trust. Without these you have nothing and you are wasting your time. I don't care what anyone says, no matter what, when you lose someones trust by no being honest, they are NEVER going to trust you again. Not being honest results in losing the trust of your significant other, and losing that results in nosy partners and a lot of arguments. How do you prevent this you ask? Well for guys, reassure her how much you like her. Bring her flowers every now and then, or tell her she looks beautiful, when she gets dolled up for no apparent reason. Then she won't feel like you will settle for someone else. She won't be tempted to ask questions like "Where are you going?" or "Who all is going to be there" when you wanna go hang out with the guys. And ladies, show him that you are still attracted to him, and only him. Make him feel like you still want him. Guys need to feel like they are wanted and that you need him. Ask him to help you get something off the top shelf that you cant reach, or ask him to check the oil in your car. When a guys feels like you need him, he is less likely to go elsewhere to feel wanted. Show him that he still turns you on as well. I can promise he will do the return the favor!



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First Post!

Many people have relationship problems, or issues with their love life. I have created this blog so that those of you who do not always have someone to ask your questions to can finally get an honest answer. Please don't be shy in asking any questions. Feel free to email your questions and have an answer the same or next day. Subscribe to my page and keep asking.

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