I know there are a few younger couples, some I know personally that need to read this. However, this also goes for the older couples and for those of you I don't know personally. People are always asking me "What do I do?" The situation being, you and your partner have a kid(s) together, but the two of you are just not happy anymore. You find yourselves asking each other, "Should we stay together for the kids?"
I always tell everyone who asks me this, If you think you can work it out, if it's something that can be fixed, then yes, stay together for the kids. But I personally think that two people who are truly unhappy should not be together. Because no matter what, if you stay together or you break up, it will effect your kids. Mentally and emotionally. Like I said if you can fix it and look past it, for your kids sake, please try to work it out.
If you stay together and don't work it out, all the kids will hear is constant arguing, and they will grow up thinking that arguing and sucking up being together for the kids is okay. Well it's not. But if you split up, most parents go through a nasty divorce trying to fight for custody of the kids. Both of these situations will mentally and emotionally hurt your kids. Your kids will grow up, and be scared to get married and have kids of their own. So as they say, "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" right?
If the situation is that you need to split up or get divorced, be civilized adults. Don't make each others lives hell trying to fight for the custody of the kids. Kids growing up without their parents together will still hurt them, but a lot less than watching them hate each other for 18 years. You need to TALK to each other in a civilized manner about who should have custody. Which parent can provide a better lifestyle for the kids. Remember just because your kids don't live with you doesn't mean that they will not love you or know that you love them. To be honest, if you do it in a civilized manner your kids will grow up and know that you did it for their happiness. And no matter what, they will know that you did it, because you love them. It's not about who is a better parent, but who is a better provider.
Every parent wants their kids to grow up and be successful, but happy most importantly. Every parent wants their kid to grow up and follow their dreams. Most parents push their kids to follow their dreams. But why can't parents push their kids to make the right decisions in relationships, for their happiness. Teach your kids that it's okay to work things out. That sometimes it's okay to forgive and forget. Let them know that even in the worst situations, things will play out the way they should be.
Honestly, I think that is what is wrong with society. No one has a problem letting their learn what sex is, or how to make bad decisions and learn from them. But no one teaches their kids how to be responsible for their decisions. Society has made it so easy to get divorced, and people are having kids without marriage. People would rather make a baby, than wear a condom or use birth control. There are so many families that are broken up because they were are not responsible enough to take care of their priorities, and kids are growing up learning that it's okay to do so.
So please by all means if you can fix the problem, please do so. If you can't, be civilized about the situation. Don't punish your kids for your mistakes. Don't torment your kids, because you think it's better for them if you stay together. Make a decision.
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